If you don't know "fear you don't own me" is from a song that is very near and dear to my heart called "The Break Up Song" by Francesca Battistelli. If you have not heard it get on your phone right now and listen. This song has forever changed my life. It has not just changed my walk with Christ but it has changed every aspect of my life in such an amazing way. This song came out last summer and I think I played it on repeat every time I drove somewhere. The lyrics just spoke to me in so many different ways, I was still trying to get over somethings from high school, I was trying to strengthen my faith, and I was also trying to get myself back into the gym on a regular basis. We all know all three of those things can be really tough and trying to work on all three of those things at the same time is even more tough. So I'll dive right into the first struggle -
1. Getting over all that high school crap... For me this was my biggest challenge to overcome. If you read the blog before this you'll know that my senior year wasn't too peachy - a lot happened. All the things that happened made me uncomfortable to go out in public because I didn't want to run into any of the people from my class that I once called friends. I was so scared about what they might have been saying about me behind my back. But this song helped me to realize that I don't have room for fear in my life. I was sick of being scared of living the beautiful life God had blessed me with. I was stupid to let those things get in the way of me living. God had brought so many good things to me during my high school experience that I didn't even realize because I was too busy dwelling on the 'poor me' side of things.
2. Trying to strengthen my Faith... I have also had faith and I wouldn't be a true Christian if I didn't go back and forth in questioning my faith at times. Everyone who believes in God has those moments when you're like "how could a God so good do something so bad to me?" right? RIGHT? We are human we question things and at the time this song came out I wasn't questioning anything I definitely had a strong faith, but I didn't show it. By no means am I saying that you have to go to church every Sunday or run around with 'I love Jesus' tattooed on your forehead to be a devout Christian but I was scared of judgement in Church. I went every Sunday and sang my heart out and did my thing but in my heart something didn't feel right. I felt like I was holding myself back -- we all know the feeling -- it's not fun. Church should not be a placed that you feel judged, you should feel welcomed and loved by God and everyone around and if you feel anything other than those you are in the wrong place. This song taught me that NO fear did not own me and that I had enough of holding myself back from the Christian I really was. I finally let go - I threw my hands up in the air in church and felt God's presence telling me I was safe. I know that sounds so cliche and tacky but holy cow what a great feeling - you should try it sometime!
Last but not least...
3. Getting back into the gym... "The gym can be so scary and intimidating" says every person wanting to go to the gym but I'm going to let you in on a little secret. IT'S ONLY LIKE THAT IF YOU LET IT. The gym is filled with fit people, buff guys, people just starting, old people, and so many more. But let me tell ya that buff guy with gigantic arms bench pressing 300+ was once a tiny little twig and that girl with a big butt used to have a pancake butt. WE ALL START SOMEWHERE. We aren't born with huge muscles and huge butts. Does genetics play a pretty decent factor? Yes, but more importantly it's the work you put in. Do I sometimes wish I had a body like most of the gymshark models? Yup, you betcha but it doesn't work that way, most all people have to work hard to get their body to where they want to be. I was so scared and intimidated to go into the weight room and start lifting. What if I look stupid? What if I don't know what I'm doing? THAT"S OKAY!!!! To some degree we all look stupid and don't know what we are doing but that fact of the matter is that you are in the gym and doing something -- which is one step closer to your goal than you were 20 minutes ago before you left the house trying to talk yourself into just trying to go to the gym. I started a fitness page my senior year of high school kind of as a joke and only let my really close friends follow it (kinda like a finsta but for funny fitness stuff). Today two years later it is a public account and because of it I have such an amazing circle of other chicas in the fitness world that help to motivate me and pick me up when I am down. And to the many friends I have out there too scared to make a fitness page -- make one -- don't let fear own you. Letting fear own you is a shitty way for anyone to live, I know you've had enough of being afraid because I have been there. Don't make room in your story for fear -- your not being fair to yourself by allowing fear to run your life.
Psalm 46:5 "God is within her, she will not fall." I have this verse tattooed on my wrist so I never forget it. I will live by this verse for as long as I live. I hope this song can help you or inspire you like it has me!
XOXO,
Darbs
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